When it comes to my birthday or the New Year, I am not the happiest one – I usually start to question myself even more intensively have I done enough in the time that passed. Recently, by writing my first novel, I finally confirmed that the ideas I am dealing with now were not mature enough to be fully realized in any other time in the past – and that questioning became less conspicuous.
I love to question the reality, and I am a big daydreamer too. It is not easy be a daydreamer in this world – the reality hurts the eyes way too often.
The thinking this birthday brought was truly different then – I remembered some very simple moments from my past I found very important now, but I was not aware of that back then. I remembered, for example, how I used to visit my grandma for the weekend and how I used to lay on her bed, beside the old furnace to rest and to dry my washed hair. What a simple moment that was, yet I would like to go back to it! The words Thomas Moore, an English philosopher, said could make that clear: „The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest“. Since I am very far away from so many aspects that were my life before, I became nostalgic – that I truly understand why my grandma likes to look at the old photographs every single evening. If I am beside her, she would speak to me the stories she knew about the people whose photograph she was holding at that moment.
I baked the cake which was fully made with chocolate. The cream was prepared on the way my grandma used to do it.
With the friend I know for more than 12 years, I visited one of the most beautiful places in Dublin: Vintage cocktail club. Even I do not know anything about its history, by the interior I can guess that originally dictates from any of the past decades I appreciate a lot. By its charm that could be even the 1920’s. The most of the interior details can suggest that.
The common thinking that the past is more beautiful than the present is something so very psychological: one of the main characteristics of our mind is to forget – so all of our past problems got forgotten, and the real problems are stuck here: where we are. As for the most of the people, the moments I experience now will be something I will gladly think about, at the same time forgetting the other.
Being almost two years far from my home I met the people I appreciate, but I did not forget the ones that were my life before. I am looking forward to seeing them again, because at least a small part of me each of them created.
Gloria La Marr 