When it comes to my birthday or the New Year, I am not the happiest one – I usually start to question myself even more intensively have I done enough in the time that passed. Recently, by writing my first novel, I finally confirmed that the ideas I am dealing with now were not mature enough to be fully realized in any other time in the past – and that questioning became less conspicuous.

I love to question the reality, and I am a big daydreamer too. It is not easy be a daydreamer in this world – the reality hurts the eyes way too often.

The thinking this birthday brought was truly different then – I remembered some very simple moments from my past I found very important now, but I was not aware of that back then. I remembered, for example, how I used to visit my grandma for the weekend and how I used to lay on her bed, beside the old furnace to rest and to dry my washed hair. What a simple moment that was, yet I would like to go back to it! The words Thomas Moore, an English philosopher, said could make that clear: „The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest“. Since I am very far away from so many aspects that were my life before, I became nostalgic – that I truly understand why my grandma likes to look at the old photographs every single evening. If I am beside her, she would speak to me the stories she knew about the people whose photograph she was holding at that moment.

I baked the cake which was fully made with chocolate. The cream was prepared on the way my grandma used to do it.

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With the friend I know for more than 12 years, I visited one of the most beautiful places in Dublin: Vintage cocktail club. Even I do not know anything about its history, by the interior I can guess that originally dictates from any of the past decades I appreciate a lot. By its charm that could be even the 1920’s. The most of the interior details can suggest that.

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The common thinking that the past is more beautiful than the present is something so very psychological: one of the main characteristics of our mind is to forget – so all of our past problems got forgotten, and the real problems are stuck here: where we are. As for the most of the people, the moments I experience now will be something I will gladly think about, at the same time forgetting the other.

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The latin term for this plant is “Kalanchoe blossfeldiana”.

Being almost two years far from my home I met the people I appreciate, but I did not forget the ones that were my life before. I am looking forward to seeing them again, because at least a small part of me each of them created.

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